Quotable shit
I'm mostly doing this because I have nothing to say that won't undermine my job at the student paper or my "journalistic integrity" or whatever that means. I'd love to use this space to bitch about people and situations at Dalhousie (AND KING'S) that piss me off, but I'm guessing that *could* get me into trouble. So instead I've decided to compile a "best of" series on the coolest, and weirdest, and most ridiculous, stuff I've seen on recent blog entries and in my everyday passings in life. Hurray to geekness!
**
Loukas, on working
"if I am working I want to be immersed in it. I don't want to see the sun. I want my coffee constantly at my side and my eyes straining against a computer with the blinds firmly shut behind me. Vacations are for pussies, let my billable hours ring out across the land with such force that it shakes the citys foundations."
**
Danny, on moving
"My room's still a mess, I should clean and organize things but I'm just so lazy. So lazy. I'd hire one of the homeless to help me, if I didn't think they'd rob me. Maybe I could make it a competition. I could get 5 shopping carts, fill them to the brim with clothes and books, then all i'd have to do is find 5 homeless guys (or girls, i'm not predjudice) and get them to race uphill from Hollis to Quinpool with my stuff. First one there wins 20 bucks? (is $20 too much?). Someone would drop dead of a stroke, though, and i'd lose my favourate pants or something, fuck that. why do I leave everything to the last minute?"
**
Jen, on the election of Dr. Brian Day, who "runs a private orthopedic clinic and has espoused the benefits of private healthcare delivery," to the presidency of the Canadian Medical Association.
"Day's private feelings cannot in any way affect the manner in which he conducts himself as CMA president as he is bound by the membership and by-laws of that body. Furthermore, the man isn't trying to spit on Tommy Douglas' grave here. He simply proffers a solution to what he sees as the major problem of patient suffering through extraordinarily long wait times. He holds the very sane and moderate belief that there is room for both private and public partnerships to improve both access and quality of delivery. Dr. Day gets a "brava" from me for sticking to his convictions and having the guts to tell Canadians that sometimes the sacred cow needs some company, lest it keel over and die."
**
Aaron, on being lovers with Joey (following Joey's suggestion)
"Even if I was gay, I'd like to think that I could do better"
**
Li, actually being funny for once... wait, wasn't that like four years ago?!
"Alright, so I kinda just read whatever the FUCK you sent me whilst real drunk and I must say, Catherine is just tooooo fuckin GOOD for you. You understand the fuck yes don't you motherfucker?! Yeah. I thought fucking so. AND another thing, Loukas' fuckin girlfiriend is hotttter than any girl you can ever GET ever ever ever (including Theressa, you prick). So I hope you (and everyone since I hit REPLY ALL by 'accident' so fuck you and all your newsworthy subjects you hear me motherfucker!) OH yeah, my motherfuckin lecture on how to listen to fuckin lectures was fuckin CANCELLED today so that made my 20min walking in the bitter cold worthless (much like yourlife) so Im NOT gonna have that story ready anytime EVER. GOT THAT. Great, fuck Im gonna go pass out now and hope I wil forget this email in the morning thus positively denying it on MONDAY.
SinserererererererererererereLY: Li "Justify my" Dong"
**
Li, on being an idiot even when you don't realize it
"Reid invited me to a stag party last night, strippers included. I had never been to one before so how could I resist the experience. The strippers performed for about an hour, doing all sorts of things with plastic objects over the faces of guys. I was playing the role of the DJ, volume up, volume down, next track back track etc. Wait, don't the DJs for strip clubs all get blowjobs? Wasn't that written in VICE or something?"
**
Rafal, on being an idiot even when you don't realize it
"I am speechless. I am not sure how to express my feelings about this. It is just plain ridiculous. The Superstore does not have fresh bread at 9 a.m. In normal countries (read: Europe), stores are out of bread by 9 a.m. The fact that Atlantic Superstore does not have fresh baguettes at 9 a.m. is unfathomable."
**
There's prolly more, but I'm bored and want to go drinking.
**
Loukas, on working
"if I am working I want to be immersed in it. I don't want to see the sun. I want my coffee constantly at my side and my eyes straining against a computer with the blinds firmly shut behind me. Vacations are for pussies, let my billable hours ring out across the land with such force that it shakes the citys foundations."
**
Danny, on moving
"My room's still a mess, I should clean and organize things but I'm just so lazy. So lazy. I'd hire one of the homeless to help me, if I didn't think they'd rob me. Maybe I could make it a competition. I could get 5 shopping carts, fill them to the brim with clothes and books, then all i'd have to do is find 5 homeless guys (or girls, i'm not predjudice) and get them to race uphill from Hollis to Quinpool with my stuff. First one there wins 20 bucks? (is $20 too much?). Someone would drop dead of a stroke, though, and i'd lose my favourate pants or something, fuck that. why do I leave everything to the last minute?"
**
Jen, on the election of Dr. Brian Day, who "runs a private orthopedic clinic and has espoused the benefits of private healthcare delivery," to the presidency of the Canadian Medical Association.
"Day's private feelings cannot in any way affect the manner in which he conducts himself as CMA president as he is bound by the membership and by-laws of that body. Furthermore, the man isn't trying to spit on Tommy Douglas' grave here. He simply proffers a solution to what he sees as the major problem of patient suffering through extraordinarily long wait times. He holds the very sane and moderate belief that there is room for both private and public partnerships to improve both access and quality of delivery. Dr. Day gets a "brava" from me for sticking to his convictions and having the guts to tell Canadians that sometimes the sacred cow needs some company, lest it keel over and die."
**
Aaron, on being lovers with Joey (following Joey's suggestion)
"Even if I was gay, I'd like to think that I could do better"
**
Li, actually being funny for once... wait, wasn't that like four years ago?!
"Alright, so I kinda just read whatever the FUCK you sent me whilst real drunk and I must say, Catherine is just tooooo fuckin GOOD for you. You understand the fuck yes don't you motherfucker?! Yeah. I thought fucking so. AND another thing, Loukas' fuckin girlfiriend is hotttter than any girl you can ever GET ever ever ever (including Theressa, you prick). So I hope you (and everyone since I hit REPLY ALL by 'accident' so fuck you and all your newsworthy subjects you hear me motherfucker!) OH yeah, my motherfuckin lecture on how to listen to fuckin lectures was fuckin CANCELLED today so that made my 20min walking in the bitter cold worthless (much like yourlife) so Im NOT gonna have that story ready anytime EVER. GOT THAT. Great, fuck Im gonna go pass out now and hope I wil forget this email in the morning thus positively denying it on MONDAY.
SinserererererererererererereLY: Li "Justify my" Dong"
**
Li, on being an idiot even when you don't realize it
"Reid invited me to a stag party last night, strippers included. I had never been to one before so how could I resist the experience. The strippers performed for about an hour, doing all sorts of things with plastic objects over the faces of guys. I was playing the role of the DJ, volume up, volume down, next track back track etc. Wait, don't the DJs for strip clubs all get blowjobs? Wasn't that written in VICE or something?"
**
Rafal, on being an idiot even when you don't realize it
"I am speechless. I am not sure how to express my feelings about this. It is just plain ridiculous. The Superstore does not have fresh bread at 9 a.m. In normal countries (read: Europe), stores are out of bread by 9 a.m. The fact that Atlantic Superstore does not have fresh baguettes at 9 a.m. is unfathomable."
**
There's prolly more, but I'm bored and want to go drinking.
posted by Southwick | 6:38 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home